Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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