What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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