I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
