Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
