I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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