I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
