Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
