He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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