If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize