i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
