oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
