you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
