My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
