I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
