He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
