Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
