I just cut my nipple shaving
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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