I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
