Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
