Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
