Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
