The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
