She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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