The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
