I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
