I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
