Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
