So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
