I will die if light touches me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
