To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
