Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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