haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
