News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
