if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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