I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
