That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
