Sponge bath it is.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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