Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize