so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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