8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
