I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
