I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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