Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
