you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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