okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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