Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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