I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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