I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
