i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
