Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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